Another person's behahvior, actions, words, the way they treat you does not make you unlovable. Their inability to see you does not make you unlovable. Their inability to care for you properly does not make you unlovable. Their inability to connect, provide safety and security does not make you unlovable. Their inability to love you unconditionally does not make you unlovable. Their inability to address their own wounds, be present and self-aware does not make you unlovable.
How do you know when fear of intimacy is getting in the way? Is that judgement of a person your intuition talking.. or an excuse to push them away? Shouldn’t everyone be given a chance considering we all have baggage? Or is that slightly delusional, naive and too general to be applied to every situation. Is it intuition or fear? Is it a red flag? Does everyone have to be perfect, come wrapped in a bow? Or is it a tactic to write everyone off and never engage/connect with anyone. Or is that sugar coating it.
Is it a gift of seeing someone better than they can see themselves or is it just an excuse to overprotect oneself leading to isolation and bitterness. The gift of prediction.. or a self-fulfilling prophecy towards self-sabotage. Is it insecurity/anxiety, fear of getting involved and being hurt. Or trusting your instincts and insight into human behavior/the psyche. Is it your own past disappointments resurfacing? Your own baggage weighing you down? Is it anticipating the worst.. or being responsible for your emotional well-being.
Hesitating to get in too deep but possibly cutting yourself off from life experience. Never fully living.. or just being smart.
Obsessive, perfectionistic, critical, and negative thoughts can be debilitating and stop any progress or forward motion in it’s tracks. Until we take the time to monitor and notice our thoughts we may not realize how intrusive and negative they can be. Or even how often they pop up. We can be so cruel to ourselves without even realizing it. A yoga teacher once said to me, “If that inner critic were a person, would you want to be friends with them?” The answer is a resounding, hell no.
Meditation and yoga are a couple of ways to find mindfulness and become aware of what’s swirling around in our heads. The climate can be pretty harsh when you shine a light on it. It may be easier to pay attention to feelings that come up. Feeling bad? Notice your thought pattern. Is that what’s causing the discomfort? Are the thoughts true? Usually they’re a misguided way of keeping us safe. What they really do is perpetuate fear. They’re an old script that needs revamping.
Every time I hear a less than savory comment come into my mind like, “It’s not gonna be good, don’t bother” or “Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t know what you’re talking about”, or “You’re such a mess, get it together”, I know that’s not me talking. This is when I recite a mantra so I can combat the awful lies! Because what usually ensues is feeling bad, paralysis and self-doubt and I’m not for it.
Here are some simple, yet effective mantras when the beast rears its’ ugly head:
It’s ok, just keep going. (my personal favorite)
I’m valuable and what I say is relevant.
How people treat me has nothing to do with me.
I am good enough. I am capable.
I know what I’m doing.
This is a personal process and finding a phrase that resonates with you works best. Here’s to kind thoughts and feeling good!
The restlessness and anger you feel is a sign of something trying to move through you. Trying to show itself. All you have to do is act on the ideas you receive. Stop worrying if it’s good enough or if it will turn into anything lucrative.
Put aside your impatience and allow it to come through you. Allow it the opportunity to flow through you joyously instead of trying to dissect it and think every aspect through in your mind. Don’t try to intellectualize it.
Meditate. It’s trying to move through you. Nurture it, feel it. Trust and know that it’s happening. You can have everything you want, you just have to do the work you came here to do. Be here. Accept that you’re here.
You deserve to take up space. Do the work that is coming to you, that you’re conjuring up. Follow your ideas and inspired thoughts. You are good at what you do because only you can do it. You know what you’re doing, it’s more than good enough. You are talented, skilled, and gifted.
It’s already within you, you have all that you need. Let it unfold and sprout into being. Let it be chaotic and messy. Forget cleaning it up and presenting it in perfect form. Be a mess. You are on the right track.
Stop trying to intercept and mold this creative flow. Allow it to come barreling out, unperfected, gritty, unpolished. Like a baby being birthed into the world; chaotic yet miraculous.
Stop worrying that you’re lazy, that you’re wasting time, or that you’re not where you should be. Allow this period of uncertainty. Don’t try to make sense of it, categorize or label it, put it in a box and wrap it with a bow. What needs to come into focus will.
Sometimes you won’t be able to explain it, to yourself or others. And sometimes there will be people who don’t understand. There’s no need to explain or defend yourself. Don’t dwell in insecurity or self-criticism. And don’t be afraid to share what you have to offer.
Explore, play and don’t hesitate to the point of paralysis. Be wary of stalling in the space of self-imposed confusion, you know what you want.
I recently took a medical leave from my nursing job at the hospital for personal reasons. Among other things, I was in pain, unhappy and stressed out. I needed to take a break to physically and mentally recover. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. For awhile I had this sneaking suspicion that there had to be more. This routine of killing myself to make money while feeling unfulfilled became unbearable. My strengths and capabilities were not being drawn upon. I felt invisible. I was going through the motions. I’m fearful that many of us are, which brings me to my
To help you align with who you really are, to live your truest expression. And to help you live your healthiest, happiest life.
What do you want for yourself in this life? What do you envision for yourself?
What are you hoping for?
How do you take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally? How are you feeling in your body, mind, spirit?
Are you happy and healthy? Are you eating foods that make you feel good?
Are you doing fun activities that bring you joy?
Where do you find purpose and meaning? Where is your passion?
What is the belief or thinking that’s holding you back?
I’m finding my way. We’re all a work in progress adjusting course as we go. And remember, self-care is not selfish, it’s vital.
So often we get caught up in the busyness of life, running on autopilot. Living life by default, we put out fires as they arise but never really have a hand in the direction of course. Time is flying by and we don’t feel we’ve accomplished much. There’s that nagging feeling of something being off, something missing. We’re here to live a life of fulfillment and purpose. I’ve been called to slow down to reflect on what is important and the things I value. Imagine choosing situations that feel good and make us happy, following the pull of our intuition. Have the courage to follow that call. If we believe we are subject to “this is just the way things are”, then that’s the life you will see and live. Complacency with the unconscious way of life is not for me. Let’s move through life with purpose and intention.
My focus for 2017 is self care. Invest in yourself by taking the opportunity to know your truth and deepest desires. Meditation is an excellent way to connect and awaken to Self. Clear away the debris and gain clarity. Open your awareness and freedom to choose. The first step to taking action and creating your own reality is to know what you want.
“Giving attention to what is, only attracts more of what is, while giving attention to what is wanted attracts change.” Abraham-Hicks
During our time together we will be meditating and answering directed questions on how to bring our intentions forward.
I will be leading this workshop and I would love for you to join me. We will be using a meditation practice as well as coaching methods in the pursuit of insight into anything you may need clarified in your life. There could be confusion surrounding a choice or an obstacle in your path that you just don't know what to do with. This could be based in your career, relationship, famly, etc. I believe we have the tools and intution, it's just a matter of tapping into our inner knowledge and guidance. If you're looking for some direction, this workshop is a good place to start. Contact me with any questions or thoughts.
Bikram Yoga Park Slope 1120 Washington Avenue Brooklyn
That feeling of something missing. That restlessness, the pit in my stomach telling me there's something more and I better go after it before it's too late. I've been feeling this strong sense of responsibilty to myself to live my best life. This sense of urgency and I hate to say it but, wasting time is overwhelming. I'm finally moving in a direction that makes me feel more calm. I can take a breath enjoy it and reassess from this new seat. I'm experiencing an enormous surge of energy which is wonderful but needs a little reigning in. It's been hard to focus my efforts with this new drive. But I feel more alive than ever. And it doesn't seem to be going away. Now that I've found it, I doubt it ever will.
We have a responsibilty to ourselves to see it through. Following any path of fulfillment that feels right. Happiness resides in at least trying to search it out. Some roads may not lead you directly to it, but I believe it will lead you to the next opportunity.
Cheerleaders. People who will cheer you on when you present an idea, dream, question, aspiration. Wanting cheerleaders in my life sometimes feels like it's too much to ask. And maybe it is. Finding the person capable of giving that, is important. It's vital to not feel disappointed when you don't get validation, realizing the person may not be in a place to give it. It has nothing to do with you. It's also extremely important to give it back when you can. Way to go! Good for you! I'm so excited for you! You're gonna kick a**! It really doesn't take much. We value support from our familes and friends, it feels good. Even though I try not to rely on it (because you have to live your own life and be your own support system), it's always nice to hear. Be someone's cheerleader, you might be surprised at what it does for the relationship and for yourself.
I recently attended an Advanced Integrative Nurse Coach Program. Life lessons galore. Where do I begin? One of the biggest themes I took away from this experience was, community. Find your tribe, your people. I know I've found mine. We are a group based species, that's just our nature. I thought I had to move mountains on my own but it turns out I have resources. And that's important. Someone told me, "You're not a one man show". Ultimately you have the inner wisdom to make your own choices but reach out to find strength and power when you need it. Your weakness just might be someone else's strength and vice versa. There is no shame in asking for help. Giving to others is how we find our purpose. So when you feel ready and in a position to give back, take that opportunity.
Community means connection and purpose. It leaves me feeling recharged and full so I can move forward with my personal work. And that's just what I'm going to do. What leaves you feeling whole?